On divorce

What a terrible news!

Yet another couple, both very close friends, could not stay together any longer. They, at least one of them, decided to move on.

My dear friend, I don't know whether to be happy or sad for you.  I guess I should be happy because, in pursuit of happiness, you decided to end the state of your self-claimed discomfort and depression. I wish we all knew how to be happy in the moment - now and here. Only if we knew how to accommodate each other, to honor and cherish each other, we can avoid this path of separation.

Paul Simon may sing that there are 50 ways to leave your lover but walking away from a marriage is not that easy. It is painfully costly - emotionally, spiritually, financially.

Divorce marks the end of one relationship and the beginning of another, one where you can't delete the memories of the past but rather have to deal with it. Hopefully, it will also mark the start of a soul search within and a new search outward. A search for a new relationship, a search for comfort, compassion and company. Even the most individualistic soul yearns for a partner. In our robotic existence and under the guile of our stoic exterior, we may put up the facade of a self-contained, not-needing-anyone, independent-natured, strong-willed person but deep down, there is insecurity that is constantly in the lookout for a companion. The ability to love is what separates us from the rest of the animal world, me think.

If marriages are made in heaven, they are definitely maintained on earth. But we are finding it more and more difficult to do. May be it's time to change the marriage vow. . .till death or divorce separates us.

How can one divorce proof one's marriage? May be the answer lies in the suppression of our ego, in sharing our feelings, our deepest emotions and in offering unconditional love. May be the secret lies in our ability to hear our own inner voice and listening to that of our partner's.