On divorce

What a terrible news!

Yet another couple, both very close friends, could not stay together any longer. They, at least one of them, decided to move on.

My dear friend, I don't know whether to be happy or sad for you.  I guess I should be happy because, in pursuit of happiness, you decided to end the state of your self-claimed discomfort and depression. I wish we all knew how to be happy in the moment - now and here. Only if we knew how to accommodate each other, to honor and cherish each other, we can avoid this path of separation.

Paul Simon may sing that there are 50 ways to leave your lover but walking away from a marriage is not that easy. It is painfully costly - emotionally, spiritually, financially.

Divorce marks the end of one relationship and the beginning of another, one where you can't delete the memories of the past but rather have to deal with it. Hopefully, it will also mark the start of a soul search within and a new search outward. A search for a new relationship, a search for comfort, compassion and company. Even the most individualistic soul yearns for a partner. In our robotic existence and under the guile of our stoic exterior, we may put up the facade of a self-contained, not-needing-anyone, independent-natured, strong-willed person but deep down, there is insecurity that is constantly in the lookout for a companion. The ability to love is what separates us from the rest of the animal world, me think.

If marriages are made in heaven, they are definitely maintained on earth. But we are finding it more and more difficult to do. May be it's time to change the marriage vow. . .till death or divorce separates us.

How can one divorce proof one's marriage? May be the answer lies in the suppression of our ego, in sharing our feelings, our deepest emotions and in offering unconditional love. May be the secret lies in our ability to hear our own inner voice and listening to that of our partner's.

A problem solving approach

Identify the problem

If it's worth solving, then:

Find root cause
Identify target behavior
Set goals
Identify key obstacles
Develop a solution
Implement
Monitor results
Tweak the solution if needed

Sundial

A sundial in a shade,
that's done in its prime
is worth nobody's time.
can his tale be unmade?

A sailor from the sea
    at a harbor maybe safe
but this isn't his escape
can ever he feel free?

Lament of a Martini Glass

Night after night.
Every night I await you.
I crave for thy rosy lips,
And down my spine runs
A misty chill of timid desire --

Night after night.
Every night I await you.
To touch thy warmth
and feel your softness.
Hoping you’d notice.

Night after night.
Every night
In me you drown
thy sea of sorrow,
raise a toast for a better tomorrow.

Night after night.
Every night I bridge
your past and dreams.
Sip you down martini,
so lovingly for thee I hold.

Night after night.
Every night you exile me
Not lost in thoughts
or any profound talk —
Yet so cold, such ignore?

Night after night.
Every night sigh bubbles up,
hope hits the glass-bottom.
my pride obliterated
and love unrequited!